The Child Support System Is Broken – And Good Fathers Are Paying the Price

The Harsh Reality of Family Court: It’s Not About Equality

Let’s cut the niceties and get to the point—the current child support system is rigged. Rigged not just to “support the child,” as it so falsely claims, but to bleed parents dry—mainly fathers—regardless of custody agreements, involvement, or actual need. This isn’t a blanket statement for all situations, and I’m not here to bash moms or excuse deadbeat dads. I’m here to speak on behalf of good, involved, loving fathers—and to call out a corrupt system that punishes them for wanting to do right by their kids.

Why Does Child Support Default to the Father?

Let’s start here, because this is the first layer of bullshit we need to peel back.

Despite decades of social progress and gender equality campaigns, the default setting in most family courtrooms across the U.S. is still this: Mom gets the kids, Dad gets the bill.

Why?

Why is it assumed that the father is less capable, less nurturing, less stable, or less interested in parenting? Why do fathers have to spend tens of thousands of dollars fighting just for basic parental rights, while mothers are almost automatically granted them?

And no, this isn’t about whether some moms or dads deserve child support. This is about equality. The word that courts love to throw around, but rarely honor.

50/50 Custody Should Mean 50/50 Responsibility – And ZERO Support

You would think that if two parents share equal custody of their children—equal time, equal responsibility, equal effort—then neither would owe the other a dime.

Think again.

I personally went through this nightmare. My ex and I agreed on 50/50 custody. No child support. We were amicable. We split the time and expenses. But what did my attorney say? “That’s not possible—you’ll have to pay something.”

Spoiler alert: that was a lie.

Fast forward to a new child, a new attorney, and a shocking realization that I had been screwed by the very system I was told would protect my rights as a father. I’m now paying child support for one child, but not the other. Same mom. Split custody. She makes more than I do. I cover the medical expenses. But guess what? I still pay.

Make that make sense.

Where the Hell Does the Money Go?

Here’s another major flaw: no transparency.

If food stamps come with restrictions—where and how they can be spent—why doesn’t child support?

Child support should not be a blank check. It should not go toward Gucci purses, spa days, or bottomless brunches. Child support should be just that: support for the child.

How do we fix this? Easy.

• A designated debit card.
• Restricted purchases allowed (education, clothes, food, medical, extracurriculars).
• Receipts kept and reviewable by both parents at any time.

If you’re confident you’re using the money the right way, you shouldn’t have a problem with that.

The System Discourages Men From Advancing

Here’s a sick twist: You want to better yourself as a man? Get a raise? Take a promotion? Start a business?

Be prepared to get dragged back into court so they can increase your support payment.

So instead of encouraging fathers to be more involved, more successful, more present—the system punishes them for progress. I’ve spoken to too many fathers who work 60, 70, even 80 hours a week just to stay afloat—only to have their ex take them back to court for more.

It’s not just demoralizing. It’s soul-crushing.

And frankly, it’s fucking bullshit.

What This Blog Isn’t About

Let me be clear about what this rant is not.

• This is not about deadbeat dads who ghost their kids and avoid responsibility.
• This is not about mothers who use child support appropriately and co-parent with respect.
• This is not about victims of abuse or situations where safety is a legitimate concern.

This blog is for the fathers who show up.
Who fight like hell to be in their kids’ lives.
Who get railroaded in court, then bled dry by a system built on outdated assumptions.

Child Support Was Never Meant to Be a Lifestyle

If you’re relying on child support as your primary income, you’re doing it wrong.

Child support should never be a long-term financial plan. It should be temporary—a bridge, not a salary. It should never incentivize not working or not co-parenting.

If you cannot financially care for your child when they’re with you, maybe they shouldn’t be with you that often. That might sound harsh, but remember: “the best interest of the child” is what the courts claim to care about.

So explain to me how keeping a child with a financially unstable parent—while draining the stable parent—is what’s best for the child?

Spoiler alert: It’s not.

Time for a System Reboot

It’s time to overhaul this entire system from the ground up.

• ✅ Equal parenting should be the default, not the exception.
• ✅ Child support should require accountability and transparency.
• ✅ Fathers should not be punished for getting better jobs or wanting more time with their kids.
• ✅ Courts need to stop treating dads like ATM machines.

And most importantly: Support should be reserved only for the child—not as a weapon, not as revenge, and definitely not as a long-term meal ticket.

Final Thoughts: Stop Punishing Good Dads

I could write a damn book about this, and maybe one day I will. But for now, know this:

• The system is flawed.
• The system is rigged against good fathers.
• The system needs a full-blown, unapologetic rebuild.

And I don’t care how unpopular that opinion is. Because this isn’t about popularity. It’s about justice. It’s about fairness. And most of all—it’s about what’s actually best for the kids.

Until that happens, I’ll keep showing up, fighting back, and speaking out.

Because I’m not just a dad—I’m a damn good. And I refuse to be another victim of a system designed to break men who give a damn.