Pronouns, Respect, and Reality: Can We Just Be Adults About This?

He/Him, She/Her, They/Them… What the Hell is Next?

Let’s just get right to it: if you want to go by he, she, they, xe, or even King of the Moon, go for it. Seriously. You do you. If it brings you peace or feels right in your soul, I genuinely respect your decision to live your truth.

But — and this is a big but — don’t come at me sideways when I call you “sir” or “ma’am” based on your visual appearance. News flash: visual appearance is literally the only tool we all have when first interacting with someone.

This isn’t about disrespect. It’s about reality. If I see what appears to be a woman, I’m going to say “ma’am.” If I see someone who looks like a dude, “sir” it is. It’s not personal, and it sure as hell isn’t malicious. It’s how human interaction works.

The expectation that strangers should automatically know your preferred pronouns without any context or conversation? That’s not reasonable—it’s delusional.

And before anyone jumps to conclusions, this does not apply to everyone in the LGBTQ+ community. Many people are incredibly understanding and patient when it comes to pronoun mishaps. They either take the time to explain their preference or just brush it off. Respect is a two-way street, and a lot of folks get that.

Unfortunately, it’s the few — like Lily Tino (search him on TikTok) — who blow this out of proportion, looking for fights to post on the internet like it’s a sport. That behavior does more damage to the community than they realize.

Mutual Respect: It’s Not That Complicated

Let’s lay down a simple truth: you can believe in two genders and still be respectful to people who think differently. Crazy idea, right? We don’t all have to agree, but we can damn well be decent to one another.

My belief? There are two sexes: male and female. That’s it. Biologically, scientifically—two. You don’t have to like that. You don’t have to agree. But don’t expect me to abandon my belief system just to fit your emotional comfort zone. That’s not tolerance—that’s coercion. And I’m not about that.

If someone introduces themselves as a man but appears female, I’ll likely use female terms until I’m told otherwise. Once corrected—respectfully—I’ll adjust as much as I’m comfortable with. But don’t expect me to refer to one person as “they” or “them.” That’s grammatically confusing and goes against what I was taught.

Again, not out of hate, just out of belief and understanding. Don’t push your rules on me, and I won’t push mine on you.

By the way, I’ve got friends who go by all sorts of pronouns. We don’t agree on everything, and you know what? We’re still friends. We laugh, we talk, we move on. That’s what grown-ass adults do.

This Isn’t Just About Pronouns—It’s About Boundaries

Too many people today have forgotten what healthy boundaries look like. You can live your life how you want. You can be proud of who you are. You can identify however the hell you feel. But once you start telling other people they have to change how they talk, how they think, or what they believe to accommodate you—you’ve crossed a line.

Tolerance is a two-way street. You don’t get to demand unconditional acceptance while offering none in return. It’s not just selfish—it’s hypocritical.

Here’s a reality check: we don’t all have to see the world the same way. That’s literally the point of this blog. “Unleashed & Uncensored” exists because people are tired of walking on eggshells, tired of pretending to agree with everything to avoid offending the wrong person.

Let’s Wrap This Up Like Adults

Live your life how you see fit. Use whatever pronouns make sense to you. But don’t expect universal buy-in. Don’t expect people to change overnight. And don’t expect respect if you’re not willing to give any.

We can live in a world where people are different and still co-exist. That’s not a fantasy—it’s a choice. So stop making it a fucking war over words. It’s okay to be unique. It’s okay to disagree. But it is never okay to disrespect someone just because they don’t see the world the way you do. Embrace the differences, learn different cultures, love everyone, and truly understand that it will all be okay.

Resources That Handle This With Balance

Final Thought: If someone asks you to use a different pronoun, don’t be a jerk. But if someone doesn’t, don’t be a victim. Respect is a two-way agreement, not a one-sided demand. We’re all in this mess together—might as well figure out how to not suck at it.